Improve Your Small Talk - Gain Big Dividends!
Do you hate to make small talk? If so, you have lots of company. You may find small talk irritating, predictable, mind-numbingly boring. Yet, learning to play the small talk game can have lots of good benefits. You will have a much better chance of succeeding in making new friends, and advancing in your career if you can master the major art of making small talk. Small talk is the name commonly given to the fairly predictable superficial chatter that makes up a large portion of our social encounters. Neighbors chatting over the fence, strangers speaking to each other in a grocery line, or workers talking at an office party will often engage in the exchange of fairly ritual, routine observations, comments and questions. Often there is no intent by either party to take the conversation to a deeper level. Most of the comments and questions tend to be of a fairly trivial sort. For example, a person might say, "I wonder when this heat wave will ever end," or "That's a nice dress, where did you get it?" Other typical small talk dialogue might include basic questions like, "What do you do?" Or "How long have you lived in this neighborhood"? Small talk often has a bad name. Many people dislike small talk, precisely because it is so mundane and trivial and predictable. It rarely touches on anything important. It does not lead you deeply into the soul of another. It is conservative and safe. You do not discuss really serious issues like world hunger, or the meaning of life, or the results of a recent scientific breakthrough. People who are very intellectual or very shy, and those who are socially rebellious, are often unable or unwilling to engage in this sort of chatter, which they consider meaningless and trite. They long instead to have only intense, meaningful, and soulful exchanges about important matters. If this is true of you, if you have had nothing but contempt for the very existence of small talk, if you look down with disdain on all who engage in it, it is time to consider revising your opinion. Small talk, however despicable, however cliché, has an important role to play in initiating, developing, and deepening social connections with other human beings. Think of small talk as the oil that lubricates the wheels of social interaction. If you see a person regularly, you can use small talk as a way to gradually learn more about each other. Small talk gives people a low-key, non-threatening way to exchange very basic bits of information with each other. Through these very tiny, safe, and cliché exchanges that each person offers the other, you can find out what interests you have in common, and whether or not you like the character of the other person. A complete inability or refusal to engage in small talk can severely limit the overall number of social relationships you develop. Refusing to engage in some form of small talk will send out the signal that you are not a friendly person, or that you think you are too good to talk with others. On the other hand, the more often you engage in small talk encounters with others, the more likely it is that you will find people who want to move on to discuss some of the topics that are of more importance to you. Instead of refusing to play the small talk "game", why not really make a game out of it? Decide to practice small talk strictly for fun and give yourself points for starting it and keeping it going. Think of small talk as a skill you can develop, and practice working to become better at it. Do it everywhere, and do it often. Becoming good at small talk will eventually pay off and give you even more opportunities to talk about those things that really matter to you. You can actually learn to enjoy the light hearted, low key, small talk process, and you may end up liking many of the other people you meet along the way! This article is taken from the downloadable book by Royane Real titled "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want - Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" Check it out at http://www.royanereal.com
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Perfectionism - The Dangerous Trap!
Just when I have something figured out, along comes another how-to-article telling me how to be or do something better or even change my entire life. No matter where I turn, I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough in more ways than one. I am not smart enough, not rich enough, not slim enough, not efficient enough, not pretty enough, not powerful enough, not "with it" enough and probably "out of it" altogether.
Going Seamless: Dissolving the Brain Divide
Are you a right-brainer or a left-brainer?
Innovation Management ? Developing Ideas Within A Framework
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.
The Subtle Secret Of Transformation
Great men and women succeed moment by moment, step by step, lifted up by one small victory after another, until they reach a lofty and impressive pinnacle of success and influence.
Do You Need A Business Plan If Your Idea Is New, Untested, or Unproven?
Who Should Read This Article?
Innovation Problems and The flow of Thought
The most progressive Think Tanks, Brain Trusts, research facilities in companies and government, etc. do their best work by allowing free thought to flow. If the United States is to lead the world in innovation and know how, technology and invention, then we will need to repel the barriers of the flow of thought. We see the backlogged PTO Patent Trademark Office and the incessant bureaucracy to bring a new product to market.
Howd They Do That?
"How'd they do that?" I asked myself time and time again in my youth.
Business Innovation ? the Best Ideas
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.
Humankinds Greatest Inventions
There are a number of amazing inventions that have been created during the course of human history. Some of the great ones that come to mind are:
Create An Idea Journal
When I first heard Jim Rohn talk about the importance of keeping an idea journal I was immediately captivated. So what is it you ask?...
Improve Your Business Dealings with Improvisation
"Nothing is accidental ... use everything." -- Keith Johnstone
Business Innovation ? the Creative Process
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.
Business Innovation ? Masks and Trance
Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.
How To Do What You Dont Want To
Before I reveal it, shall we review some things that will help you understand it? Let's start with the premise that you are made up of seven centers (all within you). Each one of these centers--"majestic workhorses"--has influence over your life.
Why It?s Important to Make Your Idea Real
Say you have an idea for something new and exciting in your life.
Accelerate Your Learning
Although you may not currently be a student, learning is a life long process. Perhaps you need to learn something new for your job, or you would like to learn a new language before you take a vacation abroad, or you want to "brush up" on math so you can help your children with their homework. For many of us school and/or learning were not pleasant experiences, so we may hesitate to attempt to learn something new. Fortunately there are ways to enhance the learning experience to help make learning fun, easy, and successful. (This process works for kids too.)
Imagination
Imagination is the unreal, real state of mind, where all things are experienced as real. Imagination is powerful and is an intermediary step between thought and word. Thoughts are experienced in the imagination before they are manifested into physical reality.
How to Turn Nothing Into Something
Excerpted from the Jim Rohn Weekend Seminar-Excelling in the New Millennium)
Business Ideas ? Need a New Idea? Try Changing Your Perspective
One definition of creativity states that creative people look at
the same thing everyone else does, yet they see something
no one else does.
6 Steps to Super Mindpower
Ever hear "You can't teach an old dog a new trick?" Well that might be true for dogs, but it's NOT TRUE for humans! Today's research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -- even into very advanced old age.
|
